TAKE A MOMENT TO LAUGH

Over the past several weeks I've been accumulating random thoughts and little snipets of stuff i've seen around property.

Here's my top ten:
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A TOURIST WHEN-
10. You put your kids on leashes, but not your dogs.
9. Buying the paintng of a neon Mickey on velvet
sounded like a good idea at the time.
8. Your back is as red as your lobster dinner.
7. You're willing to trade your 1st born child
for a cigarette lighter (or a lit cigarette)
at the airport arrival terminal.
6. You cry at Kermit singing Rainbow Connection
everytime you walk past the Muppets movie
theater at the Studios
5. When you get into an argument with a cast member
about why they 'Moved the Hulk Roller Coaster'
from the Magic Kingdom.
4. When you get into an argument with a crew member
about why they 'Moved Space Mountian Roller Coaster'
from Universal Studios Orlando.
3. When you circle Animal Kingdom several times wondering
where they 'Moved the Shamu the Killer Whale Show' to.
2. You put squeaky shoes on your toddler so you can find
them in a crowd.
1. You tell time by what dining reservation is next.

OKAY, So I Have two more:
You know you're a tourist when- your wardrobe is matching
neon pinstrip tie dye and you're following triangle shaped
flag with the words 'TOURISMO' on it.

You know you're a tourist when- you voluntarily allow your
body to be thrown into complete darknes at break-neck speeds
while being strapped to a tiny rocket shaped ride car that is
being controlled by an unknown indvidual who is wearing a
dorkey space costume.

POLITICS AND DISNEY:
It has been brought to my attention, that when comes to politics
we are all a bit like the seven dwarfs:
-We meet them and we're Bashful.
-You soon realize the cost for a political meeting is nothing to Sneeze at.
-When we hear their promises we're Happy.
-We hear thier political rhetoric and we're Grumpy.
-After hearing too much political rhetoric and we become Sleepy.
-We get all worked up over the issues and have to call our Doc.
-In the end, if we actually believe them were all a bit Dopey.

Sadly, i didn't come up with this next one, but I've seen it around for years.
Since I worked in shows, this became a relevant piece of my daily life.

THEATER LOGIC
In is down, down is front.
Out is up, up is back.
and of course -
Right is left and Left is right
A drop shouldn't
A block and fall does neither.
a prop doesn't, and a cove holds no water.
Tripping is OKAY
A running crew rarely gets anywhere;
A purchase line will buy you nothing;
A trap will not catch anything, and
A gridiron has nothing to do with football.
Strikes are work (and lots of it)
A green room, thank God, usually isn't.

And in closing, I'd like to say
BREAK A LEG . . . But not really.

THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS, OH MY

Living in a town with three major theme park companies, you start to see where each develop their special niche. Universal Studios it's Halloween. With all of the classic monster movies to pull from, they have became the masters of the things that go bump in the night. During Holloween Horror Nights they scare the snot out of normaly sane individuals with deranged clowns, Bloody Mary, demented nursery ryhme characters and thier own creation: The Chain Saw Drill Team.(zombies chasing people around the park with real chain saws. . .with the blades removed of course.) I have heard of many occasions where half drunk guests try to challenge the cast for thier chain saws. Word to the wise, unlike at Disney and SeaWorld, scare characters at Universal can and do fight back.

Sea World always seems to have a 'We are the World' feel. For a while anyway, Fourth of July was thier niche. They had special patriotic Shamu shows and firworks. At the time I'm writing this, they had just been bought out by a foreign company, so time will tell if that will still be thier niche. A side note, they have a Shamu show called 'Believe'. My friend saw it the other day and said it was really cool. . . until the whales stopped believing. Apparently something happened and they started aggressively circling the tank. Needless to say, the trainers bailed out of the water until they get them calmed down.

Disney's niche in the holidays is Christmas. Nobody can even come close to all of the details that Disney puts in thier displays. There's a Forty Five foot Christmas Tree in the lobby of Wilderness Lodge. Although the uneven placement of the Teepee ornaments has bugged me all Season. Yacht and Beach club had a chocolate carousel. Boardwalk had a gingerbread gazebo with a moving train set running around it. Why a Gazebo? I'd like to know. If anyone has an answer, emial me. THe Grand Florida has a huge ginger bread house in their lobby. Our guests in the campgrounds who set up for the whole season have taken it upon thier self to decorate thier motor homes with lights and christmas displays to such a degree that is has drawn the attention of a travel channel television show.

The Millions of lights in the Osbourne Family lights display at the Studios lost alot of it's charm once residential street was plowed over for the new stunt show. The Spectical of Lights, or as we call it, S O L . . .(Yeah we have a few other choice discriptions as well), anyway, it all started in Little Rock Arkansaw. Mr Osbourne managed to tick off some neighbors with his massive Christmas light display every year. Law enforcement was called in to manage the crowds and government officals fined him for disrupting the peace and creating traffic jams. Story has it that a particular neighbor got mad, so he bought their house and threw lights on it as well. As this battle was spinning out of control, in steps Disney. They offered to pay off his fines and in return Disney would have the rights to the displays. And thus a Disney legend is born. A little side note, I was told that in 2008, as the metal globe that sits above the display was being installed, it was accidently dropped from the crane and it rolled several hundred yards into the park before stopping. It survived. Dented, but survived. One of my favorite memories of SOL, was back when they used to hand out 3D glasses. With them on, you'd see angels every where. One day, I came across a five or six years old child, standing inches away from a tall lit up candy cane. She'd put the glasses look at the lights. She'd take them off and look at the lights. Put them on, take them off. She must have done this five or six timed in a row. It was like she was trying to figure out where the angels came from.

Epcot always has the warm fuzzy 'all is well with the world' shows. Besides Illuminations, during chriatmas, they have a retelling of the Christmas story by guest celebrity narrators. It's always standing room only, which is why i haven't seen it yet. When you work for the mouse, you tend to not wait around when the lines are long.

Magic Kingdom, being the grand daddy of them all has a Christmas parade, an electric light parade, fireworks and characters out the ying yang. One year back in the nineties, it was a rainy, nasty mess here in Orlando on Christmas day. But the Disney Christmas parade that was televised showed bright sunny skys. So we had guests from Tampa decide to take a drive over to Orlando and get into the sunny side of the state. . . I mean after all, it was sunny on TV. Ooops, Faux Pas. Most, if not all of the Parade is filled in advance. This year Millie Cyrus was supposed to host it. I didn't have the heart to tell Millie's fans that her parts were aleady taped.

New Years has it's usual fireworks and confetti. On the eve of the new millenium, however, Disney had planned for everything from a mild hiccup in the computer systems to an all out Armaggeddon. They had high powered construction lights at every intersection in case the Y2K struck down our power grid. THey had lengthy plans in case of senario A, B and X. THEN. . .nothing happened. Universal Studios, in contrast, gave us one sheet of paper with some meager instructions in case of power outages and/ or Y2K mayhem. Again, nothing happened.

Poor Thanksgiving tends to get over looked alot. Management always gets a turkey and/ or ham for us and we potluck the rest. One year, Epic had several turkeys delievered to the stage on a tall, metal catering cart. The cart was pushed outside to give us room in the trailer. And there it sat . . . and sat . . . and sat. It had to have been nearly a month that it was forgotten outside of the Epic trailer. When one day, some one decided to send it back to catering. It was then that we realized we still had aleast two roast turkey's in there. Needless to say they were a bit fuzzy.
Martin Luther King day, I never really thought much about him, UNTIL his day turned into a paid holiday.

November is Native American Month and at the Wilderness Lodge, we have a tribal leader bless the lodge. Maybe that's why we're staying busy in the slow periods. In our lobby we have two totem poles. Since it is considered to be bad luck to have them face each other, ours are off set just a bit, but I was told that the totems almost facing each other is another reason we get it blessed every year, in order to keep all of the bad spirits, karma, ect away.

Another November memory was the year Disney decided to float the Macy's Thanksgiving day ballons over New York street. I was told that there had to technicians on the building roofs 24/7 to keep the helium ballond from tearing up or getting tangled up since they would sink in the cool night air and could possibly over inflate in the heated up day time air. We still managed to kill the a few ballons. I can'r remember if we did that one or two years, but when the Osbourne lights moved in the Macy's ballons moved up the road to Universal.

THanks for readiing. Keep coming back each month for more inside the insider's view of Disney