TAKE A MOMENT TO LAUGH

Over the past several weeks I've been accumulating random thoughts and little snipets of stuff i've seen around property.

Here's my top ten:
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A TOURIST WHEN-
10. You put your kids on leashes, but not your dogs.
9. Buying the paintng of a neon Mickey on velvet
sounded like a good idea at the time.
8. Your back is as red as your lobster dinner.
7. You're willing to trade your 1st born child
for a cigarette lighter (or a lit cigarette)
at the airport arrival terminal.
6. You cry at Kermit singing Rainbow Connection
everytime you walk past the Muppets movie
theater at the Studios
5. When you get into an argument with a cast member
about why they 'Moved the Hulk Roller Coaster'
from the Magic Kingdom.
4. When you get into an argument with a crew member
about why they 'Moved Space Mountian Roller Coaster'
from Universal Studios Orlando.
3. When you circle Animal Kingdom several times wondering
where they 'Moved the Shamu the Killer Whale Show' to.
2. You put squeaky shoes on your toddler so you can find
them in a crowd.
1. You tell time by what dining reservation is next.

OKAY, So I Have two more:
You know you're a tourist when- your wardrobe is matching
neon pinstrip tie dye and you're following triangle shaped
flag with the words 'TOURISMO' on it.

You know you're a tourist when- you voluntarily allow your
body to be thrown into complete darknes at break-neck speeds
while being strapped to a tiny rocket shaped ride car that is
being controlled by an unknown indvidual who is wearing a
dorkey space costume.

POLITICS AND DISNEY:
It has been brought to my attention, that when comes to politics
we are all a bit like the seven dwarfs:
-We meet them and we're Bashful.
-You soon realize the cost for a political meeting is nothing to Sneeze at.
-When we hear their promises we're Happy.
-We hear thier political rhetoric and we're Grumpy.
-After hearing too much political rhetoric and we become Sleepy.
-We get all worked up over the issues and have to call our Doc.
-In the end, if we actually believe them were all a bit Dopey.

Sadly, i didn't come up with this next one, but I've seen it around for years.
Since I worked in shows, this became a relevant piece of my daily life.

THEATER LOGIC
In is down, down is front.
Out is up, up is back.
and of course -
Right is left and Left is right
A drop shouldn't
A block and fall does neither.
a prop doesn't, and a cove holds no water.
Tripping is OKAY
A running crew rarely gets anywhere;
A purchase line will buy you nothing;
A trap will not catch anything, and
A gridiron has nothing to do with football.
Strikes are work (and lots of it)
A green room, thank God, usually isn't.

And in closing, I'd like to say
BREAK A LEG . . . But not really.