OH THE LIFE OF SHORT LIVED SHOWS.

Just like tiny towns in the middle of nowhere, you'd miss some shows and events at Disney over the years if you blinked. Did you know that Norman the Cow from the City Slickers movie used to live at the Disney MGM Studios backlot ? . . . Yeah, i never saw him either, but they say he did.

Norman's field was turned into the temporary stage for Beauty and the Beast. . . then the new home of Pocahantas. . . then the new and jazzed up home of Hunchback of Notre Dame . . . then the new, new home for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles . . . then new temporary home for Star Wars Weekends (deep breath) And Now after much gutting, rebuilding and remodeling that space is (drum roll) a convention space . . . and I believe a venue for Night of Joy, Super Soap, Ect, ect, ect.

But first let us go back in time to some other one hit wonders like the Dinosaur Parade. Do you remember the television show with Earl the Dinosaur and his family ? The most famous member of the cast was the baby whose only line was "Not the mama." Well, we had a Dino parade with about three or four floats and the infamous Dino - Whores, i mean Dino - girls. THey got that nick name because of the itty, bitty costumes and a dance routine that was straight out of a night club, but then most of our parades seem to have a unit or two of scantily clad girls. I guess you have to do something to keep the 'little old men' coming back.

Although it was a relatively short run, we did manage to be around long enough to have the only float wreck I can remember at the Studios. Sure, we had plenty of floats clips a few trees and trim a few branches, but during the Dino parade, we had a float actually hit the fence. Fortuneatly no one was hurt, although a few people did go to first aide.

Disney had a way of creating shows and events that are not quiet in step with the modern trend. When they opened the Goosebumps Horrorland show / attraction, the series of children's books was already on the decline. Although i never worked at the show, I was told the grand finale all hinged on young childern volunteers doing a certian bit part in order to release everyone from a curse. It all sounds well and good. You pick the most enthusiastic kids in the audience, take them back stage, dress them up and give them a couple lines to say. Easy. Right? Wrong. When taken out of thier element, some kids melt like the wicked witch under water. SO. You have a show that "can't end until the kids say the secret words", but often times you'd have kids that wouldn't say the secret words. Gotta love kids.

The fact that the audience was outside, standing on hot asphalt with out any sun shade pretty much gauranteed that it was only going to be a short run show. They also had a spooky maze for kids to go through. THe cast loved it because they could scare the bejesus out of little kids and get paid for it. Where the maze area is now an enterance to a gift shop.

Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular, or Epic, had an ultimate top to bottom over haul back in the late nineties or so. While they were on hiatus, the cast did an odd ball kind of show out on New York street. Good guys and back guys fight it out, some one falls to thier death (not really) and heros save the day kind of show. Right next to the New York Street Show was the Pocahontas show. (Another short lived wonder.) During the Pocahontas show there is a touching scene between John Smith and Pocahontas where John offers her his hand in friendship and trust. Nice sweet, touching moment. Expect during Epic's street show.

On several occasions it went something like this. John Smith offers to shake hands with Pocahontas, "This is how we say Hello." This is abruptly followed by rapid gun fire from the Indy show out on the street. Hey, for once Disney got history right. . . get it ? "this is how we say hello", white settlers killing off the natives. . .anyway. After a few shows like this. The cast of Pocahontas wanted go on the War Path and raid the Indy street show. Stage managers called a truce, adjusted show times and peace was restored. To bad it wasn't that easy back in colonial times.

Ace Ventura was another one hit wonder at the studios. Since it was also considered a stunt show, there was some over lapping of cast. One particular day, a cast member at Ace was also a cast member at Epic in the same day, practically at the same time. In order to make it from one show to the other, a costuming dresser was assigned to play pargo chauffuer all day as the stunt guy was laterally changing costumes in the pargo on the way from one end of the park to the other.

Always remember. . . "The Show Must Go On."

EPIC - More Shananigans

The Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular. . . or as we call it EPIC, has a reputation for being a wild and unruly place. Just because it was the place where second hand furniture would go to die and there was always clothes hangers flying through the air didn't mean they don't follow the rules. They just tend to bend them every chance they get. Around 2003 or 2004, two tumblers we'll call 'P' and 'S', were working at Fantasmic! one night and decided to come back to the Epic trailer between shows. During the Epic show, they crawled into an upper window of the scene two set and pretended to be eating dinner. The crew was dieing laughing. To make it worse, Tumbler 'P' knelt down and pretended to propose to the other tumbler. After the fact, the Stage Manger said she had never laughed so hard in her life, then she threatened them with thier life if they ever did that again.

A few of the cast were moving the tumbling mats one day and they found a HUGE black snake. Of course they had to catch it. It was like watching a bunch of boys in a school yard as they brought it in the breakroom trailer. One of the girls screamed and ran. The boys followed her the dressing room with the snake. I'm not sure, but I think she promised to do permanent bodily harm to them if they didn't get the "%$&" snake out of the green room. Believe me, this particular Marion Stunt double would have kicked the tumbler's @$$ too.

At various times through out the years we have had several husband / wife cast members. I often wondered how many times personal marital desputes were settled on stage. The girls could beat up her husbands and say "Ooops, huney, sorry, didn't mean to hit you that hard." When the first Marion got pregnant, it seemed so strange to have 'maternity clothes' in a predominately male cast show. Then the next married couple got pregenant, and the maternity clothes moved on down the clothes line. After a few years of revolving pregancies, I decided there must have been 'something in the water' and stayed away from the water cooler. The boys in the cast quickly learned to stay away from any 'milk' in small bottles that was in the refridgerator too.

The first lunch table in the room was the designated 'Public Access" zone. If you accidently left your lunch there, it was eaten by some one. One year on July 4th, I wanted to bring something colorful in for every one, so i mixed Skittles and M&M's since they looked similar. Taste however. . .not so much. The boy's would grab a handfull, thinking it was all chocolate. SURPRISE! (Note to self: lemon and chocolate didn't really go well together.) One of the guys brought a bunch of crawfish back from his family's place in Louisana one year and made crawfish etufee (i know i spelled it wrong), the green room was turned into a feeding frenzi. A large crock pot filled to the ring was empty om mear minutes. During convention season, they do a Cairo themed dinner show at the stage. Afterwards, the catering people would let us have the left overs instead of throwing it out. We'd have a full rack of lamb and couscous for days.

The great thing about being involved with a stage show, is when you need help, your friends are there by your side. One of the tumbler's blew his knee out doing a mini- tramp stunt and had to have surgery to re-attach everything. He said he got up one morning when he heard a mower running in his front yard. With out asking and with out being asked, one of his fellow cast members was outside mowing his yard.

In the same token, when some thing good happened, everyone joined in the fun. One of the German giants (tall guys that beat up Indy), was in the movie Speed Two. The Epic cast rented a limo for him so he could be chauffered to the theater. We filled up at least three rows in the theater. The cast member that was in the film roamed up and down the isle taking to everyone. THe rest of the movie goers wandered what was going on. When our friend's scene came up, we all stood and cheered. After the film, our friend had a couple dozen new fans.

It doesn't take long to learn to not dare these guys to do anything, cause they'll take your dare. One of the Indy's came into wardrobe, one day, wearing only a towel. We told him we were washing towels and needed that one too. He dropped that one and walked off bare behinded. My first thought was, " Hey that worked, let's try that again." Actually, it was more like. "Oh YEAH, I like my job." Then it was, "Hey that worked, let's try that again."

Speaking of towels. I was bored one day and decided to throw a few pair of red tumbler pants in with the white towels. Sure enough. they came out the prettiest pink. What's funny is that the macho stunt guys always used those towels first.

The boys love to mess with people's minds. They'd walk through the back of the Epic theater and do a prac-fall. This usally meant a cup of water would fly into the air one way and papers would fly off in the other as they'd hit the ground. Every time they'd fall, I'd see a half dozen guest's come close to wetting themselves. If several of us were going to the commissary, at least one would always walk into the door and smack it so hard that the entire room would hear it.

One of my favorite memories was when I was giving a couple guys a ride to the commissary, when we could do such things with out getting in trouble. Our pargos, or modified electric golf carts, was a flat bed. Back when we were an actual studios, we had various places were the guests could see back stage. On this particular run, one of the stunt guys laid down in the back of the pargo and the other pretended to do CPR as we passed by a line of guests. The whole way he kept yelling, "Can't this thing go any faster !!". I ducked my head and just kept driving.

Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular

Or as we call it EPIC. The oldest show at the Studios, it opened shortly after the park opened. I can best describe Epic as working in a 'Boy's Club'. A good chunk of the cast has Peter Pan syndrome. . . they refuse to grow up. You never knew what was going to happen next. It took a certian personality to be able to work at Epic: not easily offended, ability to go with the flow and most importantly 'Shy People Need Not Apply'. Not to say that my cast of 'Lost Boys' was difficult to work with, but on more than one of occasion we had costuming dressers get trained at Epic and never come back.

With a cast of close to twenty guys and three girls per day, testosterone and bravado filled the room. And "oh the things you learn about guys when you're the only female in the room." I'll never forget, we were on a long break between shows and only a handful of people stuck around the green room. One of the cast, who grew up in Alaska, started talking about peeing into the wind and watching it freeze. I was eating lunch. All I could say was "Thanks for THAT visual." Working with a bunch of half dressed men, we had a lot of visuals. One of the guys, who had been there since day one, walked into wardrobe with only a towel wrapped around his waist. That's it. Nothing else. We said, "We're putting a load of towels in the washer, we need that one too." He dropped it and kept on walking. Now THAT WAS A VISUAL.

A costuming job at Epic was mostly presetting clothes, replacing worn out costumes, sorting laundry and dressing the guests which were picked out of the audience to be in the show. Sounds pretty easy. . .right. Wrong. Getting the 'boys' to give up a worn out costume was like getting Linus to give up his blanket. The conversations usally went something like this. "You need to try this on." "Later." "You need to try this on." "Why? I have one already." "It's falling apart. You need a new one." "I like my old one." " You look like you were on the losing end of a dog fight." "No I don't." Basically, you had to wear them down. . . in a nice, big sisterly way. One of the worst was Tumbler "P". I called him the brother i never wanted. He harrassed me. I harrassed him. One sure fire way to teach new cast members to put up thier shoes, hats, ect, was to put them in the freezer. The next day he had to wear frozen shoes, but he never forgot to them away again. Everyone expected the clothes to be ripped to shreds, the shoes to fall apart and the hats to eventually disintegrate. It was the unexpected wardrobe malfunction that kept life interesting. Indy has a monlogue where he explains the difference between a stunt double and stunt actor. Indy 'E' happened to be wearing a pair of button fly pants that wouldn't stay buttoned. He did his whole speach not only with his fly open, but his shirt sticking out. Dark brown pants. Light tan shirt tail poking out. Enough said.

I often thought I had the wierdest job in the world. I helped people change clothes during shows. Then, during the show, I'd see the six tumblers walking towards me taking thier shirts off for thier costume change, and think "I like my job." One day, a group of girls (guests) discovered they could stand on the handicap ramp and see the guys as well and started whistling. Amazingly, the guys turned shy all of a sudden. Thier one costume change was by no means a quick change. In fact, they had time to get into water fights, feed the begging squirrels, torment the new dressers and throw each others costumes in to the Mayan cart. (Scene one is a Mayan Temple scene, afterwards the set separates into three sections and rolls off to the side.)

Thier shenanigans didn't stop there. In the green room, if you heard the phrase, "Hanger in flight", you learned to steer clear of the costume rack. They loved to throw the heavy costume hangers at the rack and see if they could make them stay on the rail. They rarely made it. For several years they had a ping pong table and, for a while, full contact ping pong games dominated the greenroom. They'd hit the ball so hard, it'd ricochceted off the walls. Then there was Mote Ball. I am not sure where the name came from, but it's hybrid of a shortened tennis court, using racquetball racquet with elements of jai lai thrown in for good measure. The techs and certian cast members had mini-tournements between shows. The court was actualy a driveway leading to the the stage. The backstop on one side was the high stage wall/gate. The back stop on the other side was what ever car happened to be driving past. The sides were marked out by the Tech break trailer to one side and the tent storing the extra rolling boulders to the other.

The most awesome thing about working the show for the number of years that I did, was I saw kids with little to no experience come in and learn how to be a stunt performer. Now, I can't watch a movie with out sitting throught the credits to see if I know any of them. I'll always remember a kid from south Florida. He was a high school football star. The first time he sauntered into the trailer, he wore a big cowboy hat and had his shirt halfway unbuttoned. Well, let's just say, boot camp had begun. That training session there were six new tumblers, (I think), one or two new Marions and a couple new Indy's. Thier trainer was Tumbler "O", or as I called him Sargent "O". He ran that bunch of new hires ragged. During training they ran circuits, which consists of climbing the buildings of the market place (scene two sets), running across the tops of the buildings to the Indy high fall, do the high fall and run back to the begining. Between shows they'd learn about throwing punches, the slide for life and three-man pyramids. At one point in time when the Indy high fall wasn't high enough, they went all the way to the roof of the stage and jumped out of the rafters. Absolutely, utterly insane. One day, in the greenroom, they were watching a home video of someone on fire. Only at EPIC does that not seem wierd. That week end one of stunt captians had an unofficial training session at his home on how to do fire stunts.

By the way, the high school football star stuck around for a three four years, then moved to L.A. and became Toby Maguier's stunt double in Spiderman. Not bad, eh. I found an interview with him on You Yube http://www.anthonyplascencia.com/video/stuntman.html Another rags to riches story has to do with a guy who started in costuming. He went to the casting center and told them he wanted to be in costuming at Epic. They tried to taking him out of it. He insisted. His goal was to see what it took to get cast in the show from the inside out. He auditioned, but didn't make it. He auditioned again. He still didn't make it. In between auditions the Indy's would work with him on what he needed to improve for the next time. I believe it took four or five times before he got cast. Once he broke through, he was contracted as a primary Indy stunt double for a while, then he moved to L.A. Long story short, he landed work on a Tim Allen movie as his stunt double. Now, he's Mr. Allen's primary stunt double.

The tell tale signs of an Indy in training: knee pads, elbow pads, butt pads, brand new timberline boots all while wearing eye protection and the leather jacket in 90 degree Florida summers, just so you can learn that dam whip routine. Oh, yeah, throw in a few character performers running for thier lives because they're afraid of being accidently hit by the thing on thier way to the parade trailer.

There are plenty of more EPIC stories to come, so come back and check it out.