W T H

In today's Blog I'm starting a 'W'hat 'T'he 'H'ell moments section. I'm sure I will have many additions over time.

Anything political brings out the best in most people. The day of the last Obama/McCain presidnetial debate I had a gentleman (I use this term losely) come to the desk and question why we didn't have FoxNews on the cable system. I told him we had Fox Network. He blew up. "I DIDN'T SAY FOX NETWORK. I SAID FOX NEWS. IT IS NOT RIGHT THAT YOU DON'T HAVE FOX NEWS. I WILL NEVER COME BACK TO DISNEY AND I WILL NEVER STAY HERE AGAIN. He had his finger in my face as he yelled, then stormed off. I was floored and speachless. I went to the back office and the only thing i could say was, "What the Hell was that all about ?" I later found out that FoxNews has the reputation for being ultra conservative Republican. So Mr MadMan had to have been McCain Repulican Supporter Poster Child.

As I have said before, we are a swamp state. We have bugs and we have reptiles. That's not to say we like them, BUT most of us under stand that there are more roaches and mosquitoes than humans and bug spray can only due so much. I had a guest at AllStar get upset about a cockroach in an out side laundry room. I tried to explain that it had rained alot recently and bugs, like people, tend to move to drier ground. He said, "Is that acceptible to have roaches around here ?" I said, "No, but bug spray can only do so much." He came back with, "So you have roaches in your house." "No i Don't." "Then why is it acceptible here ?" . . . basically he wanted to pick a fight, so I sent him to a manager.

I love the "My plane broke down. We're 12 hours late. How are you going to compensate me." comments. I tried to explain to this guest that we are not an airlines. We don't have anything to do with the airlines. "It was Disney that booked this flight." "Mam, Reservations books alot of people on a lot of different flights." She came back with, "It's not my fault I lost a day. You are the ones that booked me on that flight." ". . . Did I mention that WE ARE NOT THE AIRLINES."

My first day back from several weeks vacation, I had a guest at the Wilderness Lodge ask me, "Where's the Geshia ?" He spoke with a heavy spanish accent, so I could barely understand him, but he kept asking about the Geshias. I kid you not, in the back of my mind I kept thinking, 'I know I've been gone for a while, but I didn't think it had been THAT long.' When the elderly gentleman asked again he made a hand motion for water. I FINALLY understood. He was asking about the Geysers. The Lodge had our version of Old Faithful down behind the pool.

I got this guest moment second hand. Apparently, at All Star Resort, a lady has a wee bit too much to drink and on her way back to her room either fell into the bushes or passed out in the bushes. However, she was wide a wake when an armadillo decided to run up her leg. She came to the desk and claimed she had been 'raped' by an armadillo. The terrified animal could not be found for questioning.

I was working at the bus stop for Boardwalk Resort one morning and heard a child tell her mom. "I finished my Goldfish(crackers)." I didn't too much about it, until the buses came and the crowds left. Then I realized that her version of "I finished my Goldfish." meant she had dumped the bag of crackers on the ground. After the large group of guests waiting for the bus trompled through them, the entire bus stop floor was covered in orange cracker crumbs.

Bless thier hearts, some people get so confused. I can't tell you how many times I have had people ask me where The Hulk Roller Coaster is, or where is the Beetlejuice Show? I can really mess with thier heads when I say, "about ten miles north of here." "Huh ?" Sometimes when we tell them that a particular ride isn't at Disney, people will want to argue with you. I have been known to say, " Look I work at Universal Studios too. Trust me when I say that ride (or show) is at Universal, not Disney."

Jumping over to our Studios for a moment. For those old timers who may remember Super Star Television, I have some precious children moments to share. Did I say Precious, what I meant to say was, W T H moments. Super Star would pick 20 to 24 people out of the audience, costuming would dress them in costumes then send them out on stage for thier acting debute. As the moms of the entertainment world, costuming people became pretty darn good at preventing melt downs with the younger kids, most of the time.

In the Bonanza scene we'd put a vest and tie on a child and the techs put them on a fake horse. In the camera shot it's supposed to look like they're one of the Cartwright brothers. One day I tried to put the tie on a girl. She said, "No." I said, " Can you try it for five minutes ?" "NO." "Well, then you need to go sit back down." "NO." "You're going to get stepped on if you stay in the middle of the floor." "NO." I gave up. I don't think she ever did move.


After Little Ms. NO, we had Damion child. Super Star had three large turn tables with large sets on them for the differnt scenes. Damion child kept trying to jump on the turn tables everytime they moved. During scenes he'd stomp around back stage with his Mickey ears in one had and a pair of Mickey glasses in the other. Apparently, he wanted more attention, so he threw his hat and glasses down and fell to the floor. The other guests thought he was hurt. He wasn't. Finally one of the techs literally picked him up and said, "You're staying with me for a while." . . . or at least until the end of the show.

A ride operations host working at Star Tours was bored one day and began acting like a animatron as the guests were leaving the ride. One guest stuck her hand down his shirt to see if he was real and in the process, ripped several buttons off his shirt. When questioned later, she said she wanted see if he had nipples. (I don't elaborate on this stuff, I just report it.)

I have been told that Guest Relations, you know them as them complaint people, have been asked why Disney World wasn't covered so that people wouldn't get rained on.
Speaking of rain. Can anyone tell me why people Keep Running for Cover in the rain after you're already soaked to the bone ? You are already wet. You can't get any wetter than wet.

Though I have never worked there, i was told that a typical day at Honey I Shrunk the Kids playground consists of:


HISK Cast Member
(clears throat)

"Get down from there. Get down from there. Don't climb on
that. Get down from there. You lost you mom ? Don't worry
we'll find her. Get down from there. Get, get, get, get,
down. Yes You!. "

HISK Cast Member exists stage left with mental break down eminent.

HISK Cast Member
"What The Hell !!"

Armadillos and Gators and Deer . . . Oh My

Disney has always been known as an eco-friendly place. Inspite of major habitat desctruction, wildlife still runs rampant through out the property. Not long ago I was working as a Front Desk Runner for the All Star Resort. Between runs, I usually would find a shady spot and park the pargo (modified golf cart). The nice thing about All Star sports and All Star Music is that the designers incoorporated the natural landscaping into the suroundings. So there was plenty of old growth pine trees, palmetto bushes and other ground cover. On this particular day, I heard a noise crushing it's way through the palmettos. I stopped and waited. I thought it can't be anything dangerous we're in the middle of the resort. A few moments later an armadillo crawled out of the bushes went under my pargo, came out the other side, looked up at me then meandered it's way across the drive.

That's what wildlife does on Disney property. They know that no one hunts them (anymore), so they meander. The next time you go to Magic Kingdom, keep and eye out on your left (East. . .I think. The opposite side of the monorail.) I usually find anywhere between four to ten wild turkey 'meandering' along the open fields beside the road. I had to park in cast parking for an overtime shift last year and found that the cast members have learned to share thier parking lot with them as well.

I don't golf. I have never golfed and know I would be horrible at it. The only time I have ever been on a golf course was when my brother and two of his friends wanted me to get them a tee time on a Disney course. Since there was three of them and two golf carts, I tagged along. A little side note, I learned that they weren't very good golfers either. :) Anyway, the back nine of the Magnolia course is full of deer, rabbits, squirrels, you name it. I felt like i was in a Bambi movie. If you are ever driving around the back side of Magic Kingdom, you're not supposed to be that far back, but in case you are, take those curves behind Grand Floridian slow. That is prime deer territory.

Back a few years ago, I had just left the Studios on the way home, and in the wooded area between the Studios parking lot and Victory Way, I saw a large clump of tan scruffy fur on the edge of a swampy area. I came to a complete stop on the road. I know the people behind me thought I was nuts, but I had to stop. The clump of fur was a Bobcat. A real, life, top of the food chain Bobcat. He tooled along the edge of the woods for a few moments then disappeared back into the undergrowth.

I can't end this enstallment with out talking about one of our most meligned and misunderstood creatures. . . The Alligator. I can always tell when guests are from up north and out west. We usually get biraged with gator questions. I have had guests ask 'Disney relocates all of the gators, right?' 'Ahhh, No.' Logistically that would be impossible. I was flying back to Orlando from England a few years ago and a gentleman asked me, 'Now, seriously, do alligators really get into swimming pools ?' I had had to confirm that 'yes they do get into swimming pools', but I am pretty sure that you'll see them before you dive in the deep end. At that point I always go into my Gator 101 class. Number one, if you see a gator and it doesn't acknowledge you, that's good. It means that it's doesn't associate people with food. Number two, never, ever feed an alligator. There will be no Crocodile Hunter activities allowed on property. Number three, assume that all bodies of waterin Florida and the Southeast have at least one and probably more gators. However, if you are on Disney property and you rent a Sea Racer or other water craft, have fun and don't worry about alligators. They are usually very shy creatures, that when not fed by stupid people, pose very little threat.

We did have a guest paniced one day. She swore that there was baby alligator in her hotel room and that she wanted it removed immediatedly. . . . It was a tiny lizard, but more about our lizards, geckos and snakes later.

Until next time---